Young Men's Ultimate Weekend |
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The Young Men's Ultimate WeekendYMUW Purpose -- To provide young men with a weekend filled with incredible fun and challenges, while building a foundation for a confident and successful adulthood, through learning the importance of teamwork, developing a sense of accomplishment and acquiring leadership skills.
North BaySeptember 26th - 28th, 2008: Walker Creek Ranch, 1700 Marshall Petaluma Rd, Petaluma, CA South BayAugust 8th - 10th, 2008: Glen Andrew, 2999 Buzzard Lagoon Road, Watsonville, Ca. Cost: $250 (Click date to see more information)
In the best of circumstances, every adolescent male faces a vast array of stressful changes: new relationships, greater expectations from family and community, a rapidly changing body, the need to communicate clearly and an uncertain future simmering in a stew of testosterone. He faces the formidable foes of alcohol, drugs, gang violence, anxiety and depression. All of these challenges often occur in the absence of a full-time father or a father figure. Is it any wonder that studies state many young men, regardless of socio-economic background, feel sadness and even fear at the prospect of becoming adults? Research shows that adolescence is a critical stage for a young man's future success and happiness. Unfortunately, most young men are not being mentored and are being misguided by their friends and the media. The Young Men’s Ultimate Weekend directly resolves the root cause of these problems: the lack of initiation and mentoring. We’ve helped over a thousand young men become respectable and responsible for themselves and for others. Why Young Men Need an Initiation~ Michael Gurion, author of, "The Good Son"
This time-honored activity fulfills the most fundamental need of a young man: to know his rightful place in the universe and his community. Through this realization a young man knows that he is a unique and special creation who is responsible for the safety and wellbeing of his community. Societal reverence for this inherent role was a powerful source of identity, self-respect and direction for young men. Without the training and esteem of the community for acting in this gallant, protective capacity, young men can become apathetic and confused. It is the responsibility of the community to give young men the opportunity to be at peace with themselves and the world around them. The young men who attend our Weekend come from diverse socio-economic, racial and cultural backgrounds. We do not inquire about their sexual orientation. We are non-sectarian; we do not espouse any institutional religion. More than 50% of the youth attending the YMUW originate from divorced homes (of these, 90% are from homes with single mothers). Our program is intended for all young men, ages 13-20. ~ B.M. 22, YMUW Graduate What happens at the YMUWThe tone of the Young Men’s Ultimate Weekend is continuously characterized by the mentors through leading by example. Our mentors know that the young men will be watching them, observing their every word and action. Therefore the mentors model the RIGHT values and because young men crave the feeling of acceptance by older males, they will emulate the mentors. Friday nightThe program begins on Friday night by establishing the standards by which the young men will live together and cooperate to achieve the goals of their initiation. They form teams and select their team leaders. Everyone participates in the fire lighting ceremony, sharing the experience of awe and reverence for this great mystery of life. We all heartfully ask for the courage to receive the information and insight we'll need to complete the Weekend. We end the evening by practicing the values of Gallantry and Humor with late night competitions and fun. SaturdayAll day, the young men practice the discipline of working at peak performance levels for the development of self-confidence. The are given opportunities to develop organizational and listening skills by leading their team or leading events. They are expected to fully participate in sports competitions, open forum discussion groups, ropes course training, community service, drum circles, and ceremonies that are designed to enhance teamwork and personal growth. On Saturday night the young men are given the opportunity to release their anger, sadness and other unresolved emotions from childhood in a secure environment. Through this intense physical process, their wounds of childhood scar over and serve as lessons for future life mastery. This ceremony releases them from their past burdens, allowing them to live with more freedom and be safer to themselves and others. This is followed by a formal rites of passage ceremony employing dozens of additional adult males who come from the surrounding communities just for this portion of the Weekend. They confer icons to the young men, welcoming them into adulthood without fanfare. Sunday
At midmorning the young men organize their belongings and clean up the site as a community service. This is done with the context that they are responsible for caretaking wherever they are residing, whether it be at the Weekend property or in their own home. By noon, the mentors challenge the young men in sports contests, with the shared celebration of fun and competition reaching a crescendo! Afterwards the young men enter their final ceremonies preparing them for the sensitive transition back into their everyday lives. Parents arrive at the site 1 hour before graduation to learn the RIGHT Way® technology to help them guide their young men more effectively. The Weekend concludes in a heartfelt ceremony reuniting the young men and the parents with a heightened awareness of the importance of family and a greater appreciation and respect for each other. How our Initiation Works
Therefore, the mentors always keep the energy moving by not interrupting or judging them when they express themselves. We pepper them with questions and challenges and then watch them carefully respond to these opportunities as they discover their authentic voice. They are encouraged to find their unique talents and are expected to use these assets for the benefit of all. The efficacy of our initiation model is maximized by the fact that it is experiential. It has many highlights that are attractive to young men such as: nature, activity, honor, creativity, masculinity and mystery. Crucial personal growth, self knowledge and confidence are gained as they successfully overcome the specifically designed physical and emotional encounters of the initiation. They realize that they have the innate intelligence to find their way in life. After the Weekend we encourage the young men and their parents to enroll in our weekly mentoring programs and support groups to master the practice of living RIGHT. Additionally, we support the young men and parents to seek the council of family therapists and mentors with a renewed trust that these adults want to help them. Who benefits from the YMUW
Magically, after serving at a Weekend the mentors are more calm and more confident about who they are. They are inspired to go back to their families and communities to be the best men that they can be. Perhaps the most profound benefit is that the mentors are privileged to hear the young men pray about how they want to make a difference in the world.The mentors leave the Weekend trusting that the young men are ready to be heroes and take good care of the world.
When a young man graduates from his initiation, the community becomes stronger by giving a gift that fulfills his most fundamental need: to know his rightful and honorable place in his community. When a young man knows that he is a special creation who is responsible for the safety and well-being of the people, everyone benefits from his biological need to take good care of things. The most important benefit for the community after successfully producing an initiation, is also its greatest challenge. Only when our society consistently and proudly behaves in a way that models the virtues it values the most, will neighborhoods earn the respect of its young men. When adults lead children in the right direction, the young men enthusiastically join them, eager to prove they are worthy of contribution! Are we ready to teach them how to be moral and mature? Where Initiations Take Place
You are welcome to contact us for more information about the Weekend or to register your son for the Weekend
~ J. N., Family Group Conference Coordinator, Sonoma County ~ JoJo, age 20 ~ J. G. parent of YMUW graduate ~ L. M. parent of YMUW graduate
For more details about the YMUW contact us or download our YMUW Brochure
Leading young men to discover their passion and develop their Purpose |
 
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For thousands of years, cultures gave young men the right learning experiences to learn how to handle the wins and losses of life and how to fulfill their potential. At a formal initiation, they were guided by adult men of integrity who showed them how to become confident and independent. The women and children supported the men and eagerly anticipated the completion of this milestone episode.
Early Sunday morning the young men and the mentors, as equals, enter the sweat lodge that the young men constructed on Saturday. Everyone is free to pray in their own way for the strength to become more respectful of ourselves so that we can better serve our families and communities. After the sweat lodge the young men and the mentors deepen their bond as they share in the delight of consuming a hearty breakfast after a long night and early morning of ceremony and ritual!
Our high rate of success is based on our experience that most young men are resistant to talk therapy because they need to be predominantly heard at a biological level and only partially at a psychological level. We accept that they’re undergoing hormonal drives to individuate from their parents, take risks and create a new self-identity.
Young Men - at the Weekend the young men have been given the tools to discover who they are and to practice the discipline of keeping their word and honoring their commitments. By the end of the Weekend our graduates have learned:
Parents - at the end of the Weekend the parents attend a one hour workshop to receive instructions about how to assist their sons after their initiation. By the end of the workshop the parents have learned:
Mentors - In his book, "Male Menopause", author Jed Diamond, male expert and YMUW adviser, states, "one of the primary community roles that elder males must engage if they are to be successful, is to be mentors to young men. Without elder males committed to the well-being of young males, the society falls apart". Immediately after serving at a YMUW, our mentors describe their experience that can be summarized as a primal sense of excitement and accomplishment. They feel fulfilled that they have performed their biological obligation of passing their wisdom along to younger men.
Communities - It takes an organization of men and women to initiate young men. Families cannot initiate their own sons. What better way for people of all ages to get into communal relationship than for the benefit of their own children?
At initiation events in times past, the male elders removed the young men from society to separate them from their comfortable surroundings and relationships. This caused the young men to work in teams, sharing their collective intelligence to successfully complete their challenges. Our YMUW events are held in countryside settings with no availability to televisions, computers, videogames or cell phones. Most of the activities occur in outdoor natural settings with everyone residing in simple dwellings.